M.I.A. Noticeboard
Six men still unaccounted for · they are not forgotten
To submit information on the whereabouts of any of these men, leave a message in our guestbook. To let us know of an Action Man Veteran missing in action, file a report below and we’ll post them on this page.
Bob Fifley
“THREE FINGER SHUFFLE”
Department Reconnaissance
Speciality Orienteering
Description Missing two fingers on right hand, faint scar on right cheek.
Last official assignment May 22, 1976 (POSSIBLE POW). Assigned to map and secure an area behind enemy lines. Last seen in next door’s garden tied to a garden pole, badly wounded. Believed to be wearing only a bandage and a stiff upper lip.
Bobby Beardsley
“BUTTER FINGERS”
Department Red Berets
Speciality Bomb Expert
Description Believed to be missing both legs, right arm and left hand. Large scar on right cheek.
Last official assignment 18 October, 1981. Ordered to locate and destroy an enemy fuel stockade (location top secret). Last sighted 19 October, 1981 in the basement of the British Gas Showroom, 12 Mefwenwer Way, Cardiff, Wales.
Elmo Linley
“THE EYE”
Department Espionage
Speciality Sniper
Description Two eyes, deep scar on right cheek.
Last official assignment 13 December, 1979. Assigned to ‘retire’ a known enemy sympathiser. Last seen strapped to the bonnet of an Austin Allegro heading for “Mr Tom’s Toybox” in Melton High Street, Tuftonmerely-on-Wye.
Linford Jones
“WATCH OUT BELOW!”
Department Royal Airforce
Speciality Pilot
Description Brown hair, brown eyes, short-sighted in right eye, long-sighted in left, scar on right cheek.
Last official assignment 22 March, 1978. Assigned to drop urgent supplies to allied soldiers behind enemy lines. Believed to have crash landed. Though (unofficially) he may have gone AWOL. Possible sighting of Linford on 30 September, 1986, masquerading as Dr. Spock in the window of “The Triffic Trekkie Komic Kabin”, 23 Bow Road, Bolton (behind Ladbrokes).
Melvin Fields
“WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO?”
Department Special Ops
Speciality Stealth
Description No record, possible scar on right cheek.
Last official assignment 7 August, 1980. Lost in action after he was assigned to infiltrate a suspected gang of arms smugglers. Last seen (unconfirmed) in November of 1981 behind the wheelie bin of “The Happy Carrot” in Chorley disguised as an aubergine.
William Wilkie
“LITTLE LUNGS”
Department Royal Navy
Speciality Diver
Description Bald, blind, smells of rum, distinctive scar on right cheek.
Last official assignment 2 January, 1975. Assigned to locate and report enemy aircraft carrier positions in the waters somewhere to the north of base camp. Last sighted April 13, 1976 stuck in an overflow pipe, just north of the M5.
UNVERIFIED
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Build a Photofit
IDENTIKIT AMVS/26-PA witness reconstruction tool. Assemble a likeness of your missing man from standard-issue features, then save it to your report to file it alongside. A scar on the right cheek is, as ever, assumed.
Likeness pinned — it will be filed with your report.
Assemble the likeness, then Save to report to pin it to the form below — or Save to computer to download the mugshot as a PNG.
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File an M.I.A. report
FORM AMVS/26-B · Complete all fields. Their Commanders are desperate to know.
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Name and last assignment are required, soldier.